d e l i c i o u s

Delicious is one of my favorite words as of late. Because... well... a lot of things are, delicious. I mean a lot of things. The sky, the wind, the weather, the mountains, life in general, people I meet... all just as delicious as an ice cream cone or a slice of your favorite dessert.

So... Whatever happened to meeting up with someone? Like they used to do before seeing each other was allowed? I guess technically "forbidden love" would be the term. Before mommy and daddy allowed you to date, or if they hated the guy and forbid you to ever see him again, and vice versa. That sort of thing is delicious. That anxious gut wrenching feeling... "I'm gonna see him soon. Any minute now he's gonna pull up or walk up behind me. I've gotta pretend like I'm not nervous, pretend I'm a confident woman." Ha. We are all so hilarious with that kind of thing, aren't we? But that butterflies in your tummy feeling, man, that is delicious. Those fleeting nervous moments that are gone all too fast, and we wait for their return for what seems like a lifetime. But honestly... I don't know how we went from that kind of scandalous stuff to what seems so routine today. Dinner and a movie. Not saying there is ANYTHING wrong with that. I love a good dinner and movie night... Those can be delicious too. But, let's change it up a little bit. Let's meet at Roan at 6pm to watch the sunset. Let's wake up one morning and drive to the closest, or furthest beach. Let's trespass. Let's walk downtown in the middle of a downpour. Let's make dinner instead of going out. Let's sleep in and read the paper in bed. Let's laugh and make silly jokes about things our friends wouldn't understand. Let's love each other with all we've got and be true to each other. Let's go against the grain. Let's be best friends and tell each other everything, even if it will hurt one anothers feelings. Let's be real. Let's have four hour phone conversations like we did in high school. Let's support each other. Let's tell each other about our days. Let's play the 20 questions game. Let's get to know each other. Let's have dinner with each other's parents and really get to know them instead of asking the bare minimum. Let's ride bikes and smoke cigarettes... at the same time. Let's compliment and chase our passions together. Let's sit out on the porch and play music to our pets, our neighbors, or even just each other. Let's stay up late watching movies or reading each others favorite books. Let's kiss all night. Let's hold hands. Let's not be a statistic. Let's be real love.

Ice Cream - Sarah Mclachlan should be playing while you are reading this right now.

Something happened to me the other day. It was, for lack of better words, something right out of a movie. I'm not talking fairytale, dip me then kiss me, kind of thing. Just one of those realistic moments where you run into someone and you're like... "hey, I didn't try to make that happen. I wasn't even looking for it to happen. I wasn't even thinking about it. It just happened." Yeah, you guessed it, those moments are pretty delicious too. It's nice to get reminders from God that these things still happen without making them, or wanting them to so bad that they never do, or seem like they will. It was a breath of fresh air to say the least. Refreshing in the very best way.

And then there are those thoughts that occur to me on days where my mind wanders from the beaten path and far from the home Ive nestled into for the past few months, and whatifwhatifwhatif? comes up. There's something that happens when that time comes... I can't explain. It's like a permanent eraser that I can count on to trail not too far off behind it. I can look over my shoulder and that eraser is making its way toward all of the whatifwhatifwhatif's I've conjured up in those past few minutes. That eraser is a damn lifesaver. I've taken the best moments though... and I've stored them on a shelf in my heart, pulling them out and flipping through them from past times, just to remind myself that with the bad...comes the good.

You'll always wonder and I'll always know. There is so much meaning in that one lyric that I can't even put into words beyond that. It travels deep into the heart of the matter. It's sad and revealing at the same time. One day it will be different. It will be matchless. Wanting and giving. Giving and wanting. All maneuvers flowing at the same time with perfect motion.

I graduate next Tuesday. Only 4 more finals to go for this semester. I know that this summer will be deciding, and incredible at the same time. I'm embarking on a journey with God, pen and paper in hand, discovering what I really love and what I feel like I can do for the rest of my life to glorify Him and make me happy... These passions that are here, I can't ignore, and I know they were put here for a reason... by Him. I'm eager to see what kind of twist God is going to put on things. I'm closing a chapter. I'm opening the door to the next. This isn't about baby steps anymore. This is about stepping out of the kiddie pool and into the ocean. This is about real and raw l i f e. It's out there just waiting to be lived and experienced. Transformed into something revolutionary.

Will I move?

Will I stay?

Will I ever stop being such a damn mess? (God: No, I don't see that ever happening, Britt.)

I hope that everyone is all living their lives to the fullest. Cliche, I know... But, really. Drink it in. Play it. Sing it. Touch it. Dance with it. It's your life, baby, here and now. What are you not saying? What are you holding back? What do you want to do? What do you want to say? Who do you want to love? Who do you want to let go of? This life is so fleeting and momentary. What a waste to hold anything back.

Kaylie is coming in Thursday and I plan to just b e with her. Camp, laugh a whole hell of a lot, learn, relaaaax, discover, be silly. This semester has been rough, but spring is here and there are blue skies on the horizon.

I hope that this finds you well, and happy, and delicious. <3

P.s. Listen to Patty Griffin and let your life be changed. She's an angel.

"and summer comes marchin' in
with its heavy boots on
kickin along the blacktop
sidewalks of A1A
young girls and their bare feet
cigarettes smokin
lookin every which way
wishin and hopin
and you want the night just to let you sleep
and be on his way
wrap you up in some cool sheets
and have nothin to say"