4.2 cups of coffee

I feel good today.

Good as in, hanging-in-the-balance-good, but that's better than gut-wrenching-heartbrokeness any day. I'll take it!

I realized so many things yesterday. God, being as SWEET as He has been to me, just put all of these realizations into my head. At first, they were mind-blowing, I mean... I couldn't even fathom them at first, and honestly, they were a little embarrassing. I felt redness come to my cheeks for a second. Then I thought to myself, "Hey, Brittani, this is the God of the UNIVERSE talkin' to you right now... Sayin' all these things about you... Why won't you believe them?" and then it hit me that maybe, just maybe, they could be... gulp... true? I feel more pursued than I have EVER felt in my lifetime... by someone who's not even in human form. It's insanity. I'm loving it, and soaking it alllll in.

It's breathed fresh air into my life. It really has. All I want for me and my life right now is just to know, and know big time, that God loves me... and boy has He been proving it. It's been quite the journey in just the past day or so. I can't believe He can take a person who is broken and on the ground, and pull them up to a straight standing and walking, not fully running, but walking again. That's the glory of an amaaaazing God right there. Amazingamazingamazing.

So, my day will be filled with an 8 hour shift of chaos on a Saturday night at the Bucks. Followed by a very sleepy night at my dad's house. Followed by a very early morning, back at the Bucks again. Followed by studying, and papers, and exit exams... but oh, how He loves us. :)