Promises.

I am no longer...
going to worry my heart about things that are out of my control, and GLADLY out of my control, otherwise I would tear them down in a heartbeat. That's a scary thought. My heart is way too delicate and precious for the ridiculous worries I throw on it every day and night. I woke up this morning and felt...different. I can't promise that this renewing feeling will last, at least for more than a day... because honestly, I know who/how I am. I know that I want to continue feeling this way, but... will I have the strength and willpower to do it? We shall see.

The title of this blog is promises, because... God promises that if we believe in Him, have faith in Him, and hold onto Him... He will do amazing things in our lives that we cannot even fathom why, how when where whatever, you get the point. WHY is it SO hard to do that? To just trust, in something bigger than yourself... to hold onto truth that has proven itself to me SO many times now? How many more miracles do I need? I am so selfish.

I wanna really trust this time. Really believe. Really fall...into whatever it is that I feel is worth it, without hesitation. I wanna really do it. not just think/talk about it. Just jump... that used to be my motto. What happened? I'm just scared and full of fear. That's what it is... But fear and worry are no good in Jesus' book. Just trust and love, without hesitation, everything else will work out... So what if you get your heart broken? Jesus went through many heartbreaks. Who am I to limit myself to just two? Ugh. I am sure there are many more ahead...not just relational either. That is what will ground me. I can let it break me, and miss out on life.. or I can take the good WITH the bad.. and just jump. again. and again and again and again.

It all comes down to this. Brittani is wreckless as all get out with her heart, but she doesn't trust either. How that works... no one knows. haha. I'm a strange girl. and this story has been told way too many times... time to actually put worth behind the word and do it.

In or out.

All or nothing.

until next time, enjoy some ryan adams lyrics and...stay warm <3

"This Is It"
Let me sing a song for you
That's never been sung before
All the words were meant for you
And never been said before
I kiss her when she sleeps
I kiss her when she's sleeping
Let me sing a song for you
A song that's worth the dreaming

Don't waste my time
This is it
This is really happening

What's the use in marigolds
These flowers are for you
All the lights go after burn
The sky it splits in two
I kiss her on her teeth
I kiss her on her teeth, hmm
Let me sing a song for you that alters your belief

Don't waste my time
This is it
This is really happening